I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just invented taco cereal.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
