Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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