Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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