I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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