your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
