Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
