Buhtt sex?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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