Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
