he shaved USA in his pubs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
