Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
