3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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