im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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