she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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