I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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