Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
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Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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