I wish I only lived at night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
