i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do vagina's smell?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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