You're completely useless in the revolution.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
