Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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