Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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