shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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