You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
