Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
