dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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