I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
