quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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