I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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