Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
