she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize