Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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