My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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