its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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