Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
