We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
