You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize