yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
