Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
