Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.