He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
