you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
