Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
