You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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