do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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