He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
