I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Everclear isn't food dammit
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
