I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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