Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
