for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
