am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
