Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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