I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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