i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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